I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
