I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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