She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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