Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
