If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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