fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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