Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Say something about gay babies.
Do vagina's smell?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
