i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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