i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
