just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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