You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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