We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
