I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
