okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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