everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
