u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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