Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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