Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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