So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He has the fingertips of a God
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
