Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
