i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
