I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
