make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
