you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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