Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
