people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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