Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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