I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
