He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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