I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
