she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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