I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
