Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
