stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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