I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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