I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
this boner is exhausting
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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