I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
