I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Drunk is not a location!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
