I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
