Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
