Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
