Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
where am i from again
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
