We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
