that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
