I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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