I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
