He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
