At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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