For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Text me some of your sweat
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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