You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
